Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
try to milk me bitch
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
