I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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