There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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