I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
