its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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