i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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