I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
