The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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