What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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