I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.