Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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