I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
