Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.