Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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