is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
