i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
