I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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