I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
