Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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