I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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