She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize