You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
