Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
