have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
handjob tips. give me some.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
