how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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