Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
