$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
