Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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