We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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