Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
