Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
