And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
