I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
