i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
