she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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