I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
