Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
