I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
