there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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