remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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