he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
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Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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