So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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