remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
