this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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