are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
