hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
