I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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