My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
