mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
