It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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