# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
