i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
