Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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