He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
