so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
