I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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