How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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