If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just had sex bonerless
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
