I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I've blown a few things in my day
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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