I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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