Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
