I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
