We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
