I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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