Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Someone signed my nipple.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize