They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
