oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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