I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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